Because I want this more than anything

As many of you know, I'm a single mother on my path toward becoming a physician. I am by no means a "perfect pre-med" and have faced many bumps along the road that have allowed me to grow and mature as a person throughout this journey. Recently, I met with one of the pre med advisors at my school and amidst our conversation he said to me, "How would you feel if your daughter was seen by a physician who was intellectually incapable." (Referring to me) 

Let's just pause right there, shall we? I was appalled. Speechless. I kept thinking to myself, did he really just say this? The inevitable challenges that arise as a single mother along with caring for my own mother who is ill caused a few hiccups in my GPA, but I'm finishing out my final year strong and doing my best to make myself a competitive applicant in the daunting admissions pool. I bit my tongue so hard I could taste the blood in my mouth which allowed me to refrain from saying anything I would regret. Instead I simply stood up and walked right out the door. 

I'm writing about this particular instance because I think it's so important for students to understand that THEY CAN DO IT. Do not let the naysayers dictate your path in following your dreams. There will always be people that try and bring you down and tell you it's impossible. It's important to keep your faith and trust that this is your calling. This is your passion. And you WILL succeed. (As long as you put fourth your best efforts of course.) 

I work hard because I have no infallible doubt that I am called to be a physician. I'm so passionate about medicine and learning everything there is to know about the human body. There are days when I find myself contemplating my capabilities and I become fearful of what could, or couldn't, happen. But then I remember that I need to give my worries to God and let Him handle the things that I have no control over. 

I'm entering my final semester of college and I couldn't be more thrilled. As I prepare for graduation and try on caps and gowns, there is finally that light at the end of the tunnel that people talk about but you don't believe it's real until your there. I'm trying not to let my case of Senioritis get the best of me. But I'm definitely more than ready for my undergraduate years to be over, diploma in hand. 

So for all you other pre meds and med students out there, keep following your path. Stay motivated. Stay healthy. Stay hungry. When I get my acceptance letter into medical school, I'll be sure and plaster it on that advisors wall as a friendly reminder that I AM CAPABLE. 

 

Progression

I'm a bad blogger. 

But for good reason. 

It's been awhile since I've posted but I have a moment to catch my breath in the midst of my progression into medical school. I just finished finals today in one of my accelerated summer science classes. I'm normally not one to boast but since this is my personal space of my personal life, I'd like to proudly announce that I ended up with an A+ and top of my class. This is significant for me because of the nay-sayers that doubt my capabilities of getting into and through medical school. It's also significant because of how hard I worked to earn that A+. School and single motherhood is HARD. Anyone who says otherwise is definitely lying. Or crazy. Maybe a little bit of both. It's tough to find a balance. I've found that when your priorities are where they should be, everything else will fall into place. 

As a senior, things are starting to become real to me. There's that light at the end of the tunnel that everyone talks about but you don't ever really believe that it's real until you're there. And though it's not officially the end, I'm incredibly proud of tough classes that I've conquered throughout the past few years. It's makes all of the blood, sweat, and tears worth it. 

Okay, maybe not the blood. 

Here's my celebratory selfie

And an ever bigger celebratory selfie with my little bear 

Until next time

Caitlyn  

macaron madness

Macarons. The sweet, delectable parisian dessert that will send your taste buds on a journey to patisseries in Paris and warm spring picnics in the grass at the foot of the Eiffel Tower. Only in our dreams, right? This weekend I decided to take on the challenge of making macarons from scratch for the first time. And it was quite the challenge. Nevertheless, I'm here with you today to share the recipe for salted caramel macarons and guide you through the process so you can enjoy them, too.  

The thing with Parisian desserts is making sure you're precise. Precision, I've found, seems to be the key ingredient to mastering French delicacies. That means, when it calls for 3/4 of a cup, It's a true 3/4 of a cup. Not heaping. Not scant. Another thing I've found to be helpful is really reading the recipe and directions before you start. Grasp a thorough understanding of what it's asking you to do. Timing is another factor. And if you have a basic knowledge before hand of what the recipe calls for, you wont be in such a panic. So here we go. Are you ready? 

You'll need:

Macaron Shells:

2 3/4 cups of almond flour (unblanched or blanched) 

2 3/4 cups of powdered sugar

1 cup of egg whites (roughly 7-8 eggs) at room temperature

pinch of salt

3/4 cups of superfine granulated sugar

food coloring of your choice (if desired)

Salted Caramel Buttercream:

3/4 cup unsalted butter

1/2 teaspoon of vanilla extract 

2 cups of powdered sugar

1/2 cup of salted caramel 

Preheat your oven to 325 F and line your baking sheets with parchment paper. 

Blend the almond flour and the powdered sugar in a food processor to make the mixture as fine as possible. (This will keep crumbs from forming on the top of the macaron shells)

Attach the wire piece to your electric mixture and beat the egg whites and salt until the eggs start to rise.

Slowly (in a steady stream) add the super fine granulated sugar to the egg whites. 

You can add your food coloring here if you choose to do so.

You're going to beat the egg white until stiff peaks begin to form and the meringue becomes stiff and shiny.

Slowly fold the egg white mixture into the almond flour using a rubber spatula.

When there are no more crumbs, you're done mixing.

For this next step use a pastry bag to pipe the mixture onto the baking sheets. If you do not have a pastry bag, simply fill a ziploc bag with your mixture, cut a small hole in the corner, and use that as your piping bag. 

I piped my shells in circles at about 1", leaving an inch or two of distance in between each one. 

Leave your piped macarons out on the counter to rest for 15 minutes before putting them into the oven.

Bake for 14 minutes. After 5 minutes in the oven, open the oven door to let the steam out. (this step in extremely important as it lets moisture out of the oven)

While your macaron shells are cooling, whip up the salted caramel buttercream.

Beat the butter on medium speed until it becomes fluffy.

Then add vanilla and powdered sugar

Slowly add the salted caramel until fully incorporated.

(for my rendition of salted caramel, I bought house made caramel from whole foods and added 1/4 teaspoon of fleur de sel) 

Once your shells have cooled, pipe a small ammount of buttercream to the center of the macaron shell.

Gently twist the other half of the macaron on top of the buttercream.

Let the macarons cool for about 15 minutes before serving

And finally...

Enjoy every last bite!

(and share with family and friends of course)

If you have any questions about the recipe, feel free to ask

It can be a grueling process, but after your accomplishments, it will be worth it.

Macarons can be daunting, but once you get the hang of it, you can play around with different flavors and colors. If the buttercream is too heavy for your liking, you can always substitute it for a raspberry or fruit jam. 

after school adventures

One of my favorite things to do after picking Charlee up from school is venture off to local coffee shops. As a single mother, I live off coffee. My blood type is java. It's something Charlee and I look forward to after a long days work. I think it's important to have special adventures with your children. Find that thing, that special little adventure that clicks between you and your child. I've find our thing. And that thing is coffee. Well in Charlee's case it's a cold glass of almond milk with a half pump of house made chocolate ganache. 

Coffee has been quite the hype these days. Who wouldn't gawk over those beautifully crafted hearts and rosettas poured over sweet, decadent espresso? If coffee isn't your thing, order a cup of tea, or grab that chocolate almond croissant you've been craving the past two weeks. Find an old board game or deck of cards to play with the kids. We all deserve a treat now and then. And what better way to celebrate? It gives us the perfect excuse to explore and find a cute place to fall in love with, indulge in a sweet treat, and spend the afternoon doing what we do best; motherhood. 

to simply say hello

So to start, I'm Caitlyn. I've been wanting to start a blog for quite some time now and I think it's safe to say that I'm finally ready. There are many things that I enjoy in this world. Im a lover of all things: medicine, science, literature, writing, baking, cooking, traveling, exploring, shopping, running, hiking, and adventure...oh, and I'm a future MD. Having a career path in medicine is a long and challenging journey. But ever since I was a little girl, I knew that I wanted to be a doctor. I remember being 8 years old playing dress up in my moms white coat and using her stethoscope to give annual check ups to all my stuffed bear "patients". I wanted to be just like her. And now here I am, following my passion and living my purpose through medicine.  I am blessed beyond measure to have the support of my family who have held my hand every step of the way. 

And through the midst of this journey of mine, did I mention that I'm a mother? Motherhood is something that came into my life unexpectedly. It has become the ultimate adventure. Charlotte is her name- the one that stole my heart. Charlee, for short. And let me tell you, she brings me the utmost joy and contentment. The happy, joyous moments will inevitably bring obstacles but that's what motherhood is all about, right? Living and experiencing life through the eyes of our beautiful children, and teaching them how to live in our world. I'm hoping that you're here to stay as a write about my journey into medical school and motherhood. I'll be here to share my world with you.